Charades
by Avis Mala
Summary: What happens when Rude and Reno are locked in an aged Shinra lab and they shouldn’t expect help to arrive until several hours later? Rude x Reno.


A/N: I'm in dire need of a native English-speaking beta reader. If you're willing to help, please, send me an email. Also, corrections to my grammar and usually very funky sentence structures are very welcome indeed. I'm striving to be a better writer.

Also, due to the sexual content of this fic the M rating is there for a very good reason. You'd do well to remember that.

* * *

**Charades**

The very second I stepped into the laboratory in Rude's footsteps, the door behind me swung shut with a loud bang. I hurled around, surprised, and grabbed the door handle, trying to push it back open. No avail.

"What the…?"

Rude knocked on my shoulder and I stepped aside as he approached the door with a determined look. He kicked the door. Then he kicked the door again, his determination slowly turning into a perplexed expression. The metal-clad door didn't even budge.

I eyed Rude, one eyebrow slightly raised, knowing that even large boulders had hard time withstanding Rude's footwork. I adapted a more civilized approach and tried the door handle again. The door was shut and apparently locked tight.

I heaved an exasperated sigh and scratched my neck. Had someone closed the door from the other side (was someone on the other side _laughing_ at you two right now?) or was it wired with some stupid mechanism that locked inside all the unfortunate curious people who dared to enter the aged lab? The library was filled with old Shinra related documents but I didn't think anyone would be interested in them anymore. Every dirty secret had been exposed two years ago, after all.

"The President didn't tell you about any booby traps set up down here?" I asked Rude, giving the door a frustrated kick.

From the corner of my eye I saw Rude shaking his head.

"Oh whoopee", I muttered, leaning to the door.

Before silence had a chance to fall a phone rang. I had already started patting my jacket pockets to locate my phone when I saw as Rude fished his own cell out of his breast pocket and raised it to his ear. I sighed loudly in frustration and let my arms fall back against my sides. Rude listened a short while, said nothing and hung up, dropping the small phone back into his pocket.

I stared at him, eyebrow raised. He stared back through his shades.

"He forgot to tell us", said Rude. "The door is wired to lock when someone enters."

I rolled my eyes.

"And there are landmines."

"You gotta be fucking with me."

Rude shook his head.

"Then the President's gotta be fucking with you", I said angrily and took a step towards Rude. "You don't forget to mention that you're sending your men to a fucking minefield! Why didn't you tell him we were already trapped!"

Rude reached out to grab my arm and gave me a warning look. "Stay still", he said warily.

"Like HELL I'm gonna stay still!" I retorted and jerked my arm free from Rude's hold.

"The President's not of the joking type."

"I _know!_ But there cannot be mines!"

"He said he took care of sealing this place once and for all two years ago. He didn't tell why."

"It makes no sense", I growled. "Why the hell would they seal the lab and then send us to investigate? Rufus just fucking _loves_ to tease us."

"Reno, calm down." There was severe warning in his voice.

"Fuck it. What are we gonna do? Stand still and ROT here! I'm going to find a way out of here and if I lose an arm or a leg during the process, _then be it!_"

Of course the worst happened. If Rude hadn't already been reaching out to grab my arm again, I would've probably lost much more than just a leg. The impact from the explosion threw us both several meters back right into a book-filled shelf. We tumbled to the floor and a number of heavy old books fell right on top of us. The shelf itself swayed a moment dangerously, but remained standing.

My back was smarting, my ears were ringing and I had Rude and a pile of books on top of me. The room was full of dust and flying book pages.

"Okay, there are mines", I admitted, not an ounce of remorse in my voice. "Rude, do you mind getting up, my back's a fucking mess."

Instead of getting courteously on his feet and maybe helping me up, Rude rose only to place his hands on my shoulders and pin me to the ground with his whole body weight. I winced, my back unpleasantly forced down against the soil.

"Didn't I tell you to stay still!"

I stared at Rude's face, his sunglasses askew and his expression angrier than I had ever seen before. I blinked my eyes at him, bewildered. What surprised me most was the look in his eyes; worry shrouded by anger, and strange helplessness beneath it all. I had never before seen a look like that on his face and we had been working together for years. Not even mentioning that it hadn't been the first time I had nearly gotten myself killed by doing something – no matter how much it hurt my ego to admit it – downright stupid. It also hadn't been the first time Rude had saved my skin and afterwards glanced at me apprehensively, slightly shaking his head. Moreover, I had always, _always_, laughed it off and he had never held it against me.

Naturally I was quite taken aback by his behaviour.

"Why are you -?"

"Why! You didn't happen to notice how you almost got yourself killed, did you, Reno?" bellowed Rude, his face turning redder and voice gaining more sustenance word by word. "How careless can you get!"

I couldn't but utter an apology.

Rude took a deep breath after a moment of heavy silence and then composed himself. His voice was shaking as he asked, "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "Just… let me go, my back really hurts."

Rude released his hold of my shoulders and got to his feet. He brushed dust off his jacket, adjusted his shades and then stretched his gloved hand out to me. I took it and allowed him to pull me back on my feet. I gave a shudder as I felt sharp pain in my spine somewhere between my battered shoulder blades.

Rude, now back to his expressionless and collected self, looked at me. "Don't do that again."

I ignored him deliberately. I was still feeling strangely tense and the quiet resolve in Rude's voice was everything but helping me to relax and just shrug the incident off like I always did.

"Your back, is it bad?"

"Nah. Just give me a minute", I said, leaning against the half-empty bookshelf.

Silence fell. Rude was looking the other way, but for some reason I still felt his reproachful eyes on me. The ache in my spine was accompanied with a prickly, nervous feeling and it disturbed me much more than it should have.

"Whaddaya reckon we oughta do?

"There's nothing we can do about the mines. The wisest thing to do would be calling the President and asking him to send Elena or Tseng to come get us outta here."

"It will take them hours!" I moaned. "We're on a whole other continent, for fuck's sake!"

Rude gave me a steely look. "I suppose you have a better idea?"

I sat down on the pile of books and grunted resentfully. "Call him."

Rude took out his cell phone and made a call. I listened to him explaining the President our situation while flicking lazily through a random book I had picked from the pile on the ground. Some genetics research book, goody. I imagined the derisive grin on Rufus Shinra's face as he indifferently agreed to send out a rescue team. I couldn't help a grimace.

Rude hung up, dropping the phone back into his pocket. I peered at him questioningly and saw him nod.

"He sent Tseng and Elena. They're bringing a mine detector."

"It won't be much of a help if they don't get through the door. I hope they bring a fucking blowtorch."

Rude shrugged, looking the other way, but still giving off the vibe of staring at me.

I studied him from under my brow, bending forwards to lean my elbows to my knees and cross my hands under my chin. He was perfectly still as always, only his head was turning slightly from side to side as he examined the room. After I had stared at him for a minute or so, he coughed as if sidetracked and changed his weight from one leg to another, only to return to his usual upright position in a matter of seconds.

"Rude", I said and instantly he turned to face me, raising an eyebrow. "Are you staring at me?"

"Aren't _you_ staring at me?"

"So you _were_ staring."

Rude ignored me.

"Aw, come on, the least you could do is to admit it."

"I only stared because you did."

"This is no freaking staring competition, Rude."

Rude was silent for a moment. "Sorry."

"Oi, now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind you staring at me. Just don't do it from the corner of your eye, it makes me nervous."

Now Rude was clearly looking straight at me. He nodded slowly.

"Why _do_ you stare?"

Rude tilted his chin down slightly, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Don't give me that look. I'm just curious."

Rude remained silent. I knew he wasn't a man of big words (he wasn't a man _of_ words, per se…), but silence in a situation like this told more than a thousand words ever could. I smirked victoriously.

"You like looking at me." I stood up, my mouth curling into a wide grin. "You _like_ me, Rude, don't you?"

I could've sworn Rude gave an overly exaggerated eyeroll behind his sunglasses. Damn shades, always hiding his true intentions. Not that I was being apprehensive here, no (I was quite sure I knew what was going on), but due to an idea I had just gotten, I would soon be damn well humiliated if he wasn't being serious.

Then again, Rude was (almost) always serious. There weren't many an occasion in the past I recalled him _not_ being serious and that, for one, was giving me the confidence boost needed to accomplish this crazy task.

If it were _me_ I was facing I wouldn't be so sure if I were joking or not.

"Kiss me", I said, straightforward.

I saw Rude's eyebrows shoot half-way up to his forehead and his mouth opened slightly, betraying shock. He composed himself surprisingly fast, but his voice revealed his sudden uneasiness as he said, "You're screwing around with me."

"Do I look like I'm screwing around with you?" I said in a hurtful tone.

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding me?"

"Good point. But no, I'm not screwing around with you."

"You're grinning like a damned bobcat, Reno. I'm not a fool enough to believe you."

"Aw, come on, wouldn't I be the loser here if you said okay?"

Rude sighed.

"No, sorry, I take that back. Bad phrasing. Let's make it hypothetical so it's alright whatever you say. And I won't hold it against you, promise. Would you kiss me if I asked you to?"

Rude kept looking at me, remaining silent.

"Would it be only because I asked you to?"

No answer.

"Would it be because you actually wanted to?"

Rude was now ignoring me completely, even turning his head to look elsewhere.

I shrugged, feeling even more eager to get this funny show on the road. "Okay. Now, kiss me."

Rude's head snapped back to face me. "Wasn't it hypothetical?"

"It was, now it's the real thing."

Rude hesitated for so long I heaved a sigh and stretched my hand out to grab his tie. As I pulled the tie I was surprised to discover that I didn't have to confront any kind of resistance. Rude stepped compliantly over the books on the ground and came to stand right before me.

I held on to his tie and waited for him to do something. Rude did nothing but stared at me through his shades, surprisingly relaxed. I was irritated to notice that I was actually getting nervous, while Rude still remained the epitome of cool. Or so it seemed. Damn it.

"Do I have to tell you again, you oaf?" I snapped.

"I'm still sure that you only strive to humiliate me."

"Oh for crying out loud!"

With that said I yanked his tie so hard his head followed the movement and I pressed my lips against his. Not the greatest of kisses as our teeth clacked together and I was only eager to show him that I wasn't screwing around with him. For now, at least. Rude was probably too shocked to do anything. The sheer thought of stone-faced Rude being in fact shocked by something was satisfying enough, though.

I broke the lousy excuse for a kiss and threw my head back, glaring at Rude. I was still hanging onto his tie.

"Now you believe me?"

Rude was looking positively flabbergasted. I didn't know whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, but at least I had clearly made him feel something.

I knew Rude wasn't going to give me an answer, so I sighed theatrically. "I know you want me, so damn you, Rude, and kiss me!"

Boy, what a show. But finally the man did something. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a kiss. As he finally withdrew (maybe half a minute later), his tongue sliding across my upper lip, I noticed I had been rendered utterly speechless.

Rude peered at me, corners of his mouth curling into a rare, unruffled grin.

"Wow", was all I was able to say. My show was crumbling badly and I had forgotten all my lines, so I was now adlibbing furiously. I used to be so good at it. Damn you Rude for suddenly shuffling my well-organized deck of cards! Now I didn't know what to do, because the kiss - or rather its backlash - was something I really hadn't planned for.

Confusion was no acquaintance of mine. I hated it.

Feeling ashamed for being out of witty remarks for probably the first time in my life, I really had no other choice but to throw my arms around Rude's neck and draw him into another kiss. It was an excellent excuse for the unexpected loss of words.

Rude replied the kiss – as expected - and pushed me against the bookshelf behind us, his leg sliding between my thighs and causing me to grunt silently into his mouth. Then his hands were under my shirt, his large palms against my back and my sides and I was grinding against his leg and tearing at his jacket's zipper, suddenly eager to get all clothing off of him.

Then, as if experiencing a sudden enlightenment, the absurdity of the situation dawned to me and I had to push Rude away, trying to bite my lip so as not to laugh out loud. I failed like one can only fail and let my head slouch forward, my hands against Rude's chest, keeping him away.

And I laughed.

Rude took a step back and for some reason I imagined he would definitely laugh as well. Reno, you're a total idiot.

"Fuck you, Reno", I heard him say, voice cold but far from emotionless. "Fuck you. I knew it."

My head snapped up, laughter dying on my lips. I was shocked to see him there, looming a mere foot away, looking disgusted and hurt. Even more shocking was the ground-breaking realisation of being a total idiot and making one hell of a mistake I was sure to regret for maybe the rest of my life.

"No no no, Rude, fuck, I'm sorry", I hurried to mend my gargantuan misjudgement. "I'm not laughing because… damn, it's hard to explain. It's not because – well, I only laughed because it's kinda funny -"

"Yeah, funny."

"No, Rude, listen to me", I said, exasperated, slowly realising that I had always been the worst at explaining things. I had always been the worst at explaining _myself_. "I wasn't trying to screw with you, honest, I just – damn it, Rude, we've been partners for years, right, and I was laughing because this – we've never… we…"

Rude was glaring at me and I had to look away, once again biting my lip. I came to a decision to shut it before I would make things even worse by saying something I really shouldn't say. One thing came into mind, though, and it didn't sound like completely asinine thing to say, so I decided to go with it: "Why didn't we do this earlier?"

Rude kept glaring at me. "Because you would've laughed at me if I ever tried anything."

"No."

"Reno, you're so full of shit."

"So what if I am?" I snapped. "Yeah, I am full of shit and I'm inconsiderate and I laugh when I really shouldn't and whatnot, but you gotta believe me, there are things even I can't fake! You know me, Rude, you know me better than anyone else; you should know this!"

Rude glared.

I raised my hand to scratch my neck in an endeavour to seem relaxed and a bit indifferent. So okay, I failed. My voice was considerably quieter when I continued, "I liked that just now. So if you're not going to do it with me again I think I'll feel a bit, well, let down." I shrugged. "And I promise I won't laugh. Because really, it's not even funny, now that I think about it."

"You're so full of shit", Rude said, but this time he wasn't sounding so venomous anymore. I raised my head up to face him just in time to see a ghost of a smile in the corner of his mouth before he closed the distance between us and kissed me again.

I didn't laugh. It didn't even cross my mind to laugh. It was absurd, sure, but a million natural reasons for why it should feel absurd came to mind and I was ashamed I hadn't considered them before I broke out laughing.

His hand was down my pants, stroking demandingly and I was fighting with his shirt's buttons, tearing them open one by one, doing it too slow and getting frustrated because of it. His thumb was pressing down hard on the tip on my cock and I hissed, catching his upper lip between my teeth, wanting so much more. He grunted, pulling my ponytail and yanking my head back. I felt his mouth on my neck, his hot breath against my skin.

The last button came off, flying somewhere and I tore the shirt off him, sending it flying to a different somewhere. Then I was down on my knees, grinning at him from under my brow knowingly and enjoying how surprised he looked after I had suddenly disappeared from under his touch.

I ran my tongue down his abdomen and stopped there to stare at his belt buckle for a second. It wasn't like it would be my first time sucking cock, but… somehow this was definitely different. This was Rude, not just some guy I had dragged into the men's room in the bar when I was totally shitfaced and feeling horny, not even once looking up to the man at the end of the cock. This was Rude, not just some guy I had dragged home from bar when I was totally shitfaced and feeling horny, only to wake up in the morning all alone, without even remembering what he had looked like or how the sex had been.

This was Rude, my partner for over eight years and counting, and not once had I looked at him and thought, "god, Rude's looking kinda hot, I'd really like to suck him, yes sir".

Well, okay, there might've been a couple of occasions I had looked at him and thought he was actually very extremely fuckable, but I had probably been drunk off my ass or, maybe, looking at his ass in the shower after a practice spar. Or when he was taken aback by something and looking totally lost and clueless behind his shades for half a second before reverting back to his stone-faced usual self. That's when he was just downright _cute_. Like, puppies-cute.

But the point being, I had never ever seriously considered really sucking his cock.

Even though that was what I was thinking when I unbuckled his belt and pulled his fly open with my teeth, the whole thing felt surprisingly natural. It was indeed Rude, my platonic best friend and partner for fuck knows how long and now I felt a delirious flare in the pit of my stomach as I pulled his underwear down and glanced up at his slowly reddening face, grinning.

For the first time ever I didn't want this to be just some random guy I'd will myself to forget (if alcohol didn't do it for me), I wanted this to be special. I had never given a damn about what my partners felt – if they enjoyed it, hey, that's great – as long as it felt good for me, but now, with Rude, I actually wanted him to feel good as well. I wanted to make him come like he had never come before and maybe yell out my name while doing so. Heh.

Fuck me; I was a fool for not realising this any sooner.

Why hadn't I realised Rude had been watching me? Had I taken it for granted? After all, Rude was always there. He was there to pull me out of tight spots and cover my rear just like I covered his. We had been through some pretty sick shit together, we had even killed together. Of course he would watch me all the time and take care I wouldn't do anything too stupid. Now there were no punches to be pulled anymore and we had been left alone in another spot that could be considered tight. Rude knew I was not going to try anything stupid again, so there shouldn't have been any reason whatsoever to watch over me anymore. Still Rude was watching me and I had noticed it.

It was so simple I wanted to laugh at it.

Maybe I had always, too, been watching him.

I certainly was now.

He grunted and his fingers clenched in my hair as I ran my tongue slowly along the side of his cock, teasing.

"Hey, Rude."

There was no answer so I teased more, licking the tip excruciatingly slowly. "How long have you been watching me?"

I didn't know whether he didn't want to answer or was unable to do so. Realising my own skill (and without belittling Rude's endurance, of course) and knowing Rude, it honestly could be either one.

"Hey, Rude…"

Rude grunted. "Since the – the beginning -" His voice broke into another grunt as I had taken the tip of his cock in my mouth – just to hear him break. What fun.

His reply made me stop for a second and I drew away from him, staring up at his face with a surprised expression. "Now you're fucking with me."

Rude peered down at me, flushed and almost panting. His hand landed on the top of my head again, trying to pull me back closer. Had I not had more important things at hand I probably would've found it funny seeing him so open and vulnerable. All things considered the strange mix of lust, bewilderment and anticipation was making me if not completely blind then at least extremely near-sighted at the moment.

"So you're saying you've had hots for me for over _eight fucking years_! You expect me to believe that?"

"Reno, please -"

"Unbelievable", I muttered, concentrating again on what I was doing before Rude's reply had rendered me speechless. "Why didn't you say anything?"

I'd wager Rude was about to beg me to stop blabbering and get to it already, but whatever it was he was about to say broke into a gasp and a grunt as I took him in my mouth. His hand clenched in my hair, forcing me into a rhythm that best suited him and his other hand was clasping the edge of one of the half-empty shelves on the bookshelf behind me, allowing him to lean slightly forward.

I was feeling charitable and so it didn't take very long for him to come. Although he didn't scream my name like I had jokingly hoped for, I figured he still had had a pretty good ride. I got back to my feet, licking my lips and grinning mischievously, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind my ear. Rude was panting, leaning to the bookshelf, his other hand on my neck, fingertips brushing inattentively against my ear.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I repeated the question that had been burning holes to my mind during the blowjob. I reached out to strip him of his shades, finally staring straight into his eyes.

"You were always going, never remaining in one place for long", he replied, slightly out of breath, his dark eyes fixed on mine. "There are a thousand good reasons why not."

"Give me one", I said resolutely, slipping his shades into the breast pocket of my jacket.

"I didn't know which way you swung. I didn't know what you thought about me", he started without thinking at all. He was like a machine gun, spitting out countless insecurities disguised as would-haves-beens and might-haves-beens and I-don't-knows and I'm-sures and it was just downright scary how much he must've thought about me and reasons for why not. He just kept going on. "I'm quite sure there is some decree against relationships between individual Turks members. Tseng would've maimed us. You would've brushed it off as a joke and then teased me about it on daily basis. You might've taken advantage of my affection, slept with me and left it there -"

I threw my hands in the air, having heard quite enough. "Okay, I get it! Those last few made me seem like a total asshole, is that the way you really see me?" I said, sounding deliberately hurt. "But the bottom line is that all those reasons come down to one concluding reason. Know what it is, Rude?"

He shook his head slowly.

"You", I replied. "You being such a chickenshit you never had the guts to come say it! You spent all your time coming up with all those fancy reasons which really wouldn't have had mattered one bit if you had known what I would've had to say about it. Did you ever really think there was any way I could turn you down, Rude, huh? You know me better than anyone and so you've spent the last eight fucking years avoiding telling me how you feel."

"You would've laughed."

"Yeah, I probably would've", I said, half frustrated, half amused. "But then I would've thought about it and ended up sucking your cock anyway."

Rude looked like he didn't quite know what to think. One second it looked like he might even smile, then it looked like he was confused and lost again, then he seemed to be deep in thought. I laughed, quite heartily in fact, and threw my arms over his shoulders, pressing myself against him.

"It must feel good, huh, knowing you might've had _this_ eight years ago if you'd just had the courage to come up to me like a man".

"I kinda feel like an idiot", he said, furrowing his brow.

"Join the club."

My lips were on his again and I was grinding my hips against his, reminding him rather subtly (…right) that we were not finished by far. Rude took the hint without stopping to think and then his hand was in my pants again, taking off from where he had left.

"My left pocket", I whispered to him, slowly realising that I wasn't going to settle for a mere handjob. I had started to carry lube with me after one particularly nasty morning after when I woke up with a distinctive pain and a faint recollection, realising I wasn't going to walk up straight that day.

Rude was good at taking hints.

* * *

"If they're going to take any longer I think I'll lose it."

His fingers were tracing circles on my chest and he lifted his head slightly when he heard me speak, raising his eyebrow at me like he always did.

"You want to have more sex?"

I tilted my head to the side to look at him very meaningfully. "Have you lost it already? They might be here any minute and what if –" I started and then stopped to capture Rude's hand snaking dangerously lower. "Damn you, Rude, I'm serious! I'm not going to explain them what the hell's going on when they come in and see us naked, my dick in your goddamn mouth!"

I was trying to sit up but Rude was faster, climbing on top of me and pinning me down against the pile of old books under my back. I scowled, because I was going to have a sore back already, having it rammed against the bookshelf for full fifteen minutes, and then having it rammed against the books on the floor for another fifteen minutes (or probably more).

I was also painfully aware of the fact that it had already been a few hours since Rufus had agreed to send Tseng and Elena and if they had taken a chopper they should be knocking on the door any second now.

I sure hoped they were going to knock on the door with dynamite or a blowtorch.

"Rude, get off of me."

"Sure you don't want to?" He was still referring to sex, raising his eyebrows and looking way too innocent. Shrewd son of a bitch.

"Pretty damn", I said, trying to push him away. He didn't even budge and so I decided to try a diplomatic approach, seeing that diplomacy was more Rude's game (when he wasn't busy kicking the opponent's asses, naturally). "Listen, here's what we'll do. We'll wait for Elena and Tseng to come and get us the hell outta here and then we'll go back to Healin Lodge. Then I yell at the President and you stand in the background, motionless and void of all emotion like always. Then the President blows a fuse and throws me out. You follow me. I say 'fuck this, I'm resigning for the evening!' and storm melodramatically down the road. You follow me. We go to my place. You fuck my brains out. Then I fall asleep with your arms around me. How does that sound?"

Rude thought for a second. "Excellent."

He didn't resist when I pushed him off of me and I was finally free to sit up. I started looking for my pants from the pile of clothes nearby. I felt kind of sorry for Rude, because he hadn't undressed me quite as violently as I had undressed him and that was to say that my clothes hadn't been thrown all around the lab. Rude was going to have to survive without his jacket and underwear until Tseng and Elena would arrive with the mine detector.

I fished my pants from the pile. "Good. That means you get dressed and won't lay a finger on me until I give you permission."

Rude didn't look satisfied.

I glanced at him while pulling my pants on. "You get dressed and won't lay a finger on me unless you want me to chop them all off one by one. You've managed to keep your paws off me for years, don't come telling me you can't do it anymore."

"I never said it was easy."

He was grinning, the crafty bastard.


End file.
